Passing the Board Exams: When the What Ifs Become The What Nows

The results of the November 2009 Nursing Licensure Exams was released the evening of January 31, 2010. I wanted to pass, but I have long since resigned myself to the thought that I have failed. That was why I applied for a job as an English instructor for Koreans. In the morning of February 1, 2010, my classmates and I were sending text messages to buy the newspapers that would have the list of examinees. We were also all joking that we failed. I was on my way to training then. When I reached Ortigas, they texted me that all three of us passed (the other two passed the June 2009). I was happy, but I couldn’t believe it. I told them so. Nakulitan na sila sa akin, because I kept asking,“Ano nga kasi?”

Afterwards my father texted me that someone told him the results were released on the internet. I didn’t tell him that the results were out the night before; I wanted to see for myself first. Then he told me that I passed. That was when I believed.

From that moment on, I was overwhelmed by the possibilities before me. Nursing oversupply and job shortage aside, I suddenly wanted to be a nurse. I was excited to attend trainings and to prepare my documents. To that end, I quit my “job” (I was still waiting for the evaluation, anyway, and the quitting factors just kept building one on top of another—it’s a very long story). In addition, my parents were pushing me to go with the trainings.

I took a moment for some introspective thinking, and suddenly I was scared. It was one thing to dream about working in a hospital, to volunteer, to attend IV trainings, etc. To be able to do it, now that was a completely different matter for me, at least. It’s like, this is it. I’m leaving the safe world of schooling and entering the real world. This time mistakes won’t be tolerated. A little mistake could cause a person’s life.

Then there were the financial matters. My parents were willing to pay the training fees but I feel like I should earn money for myself now. I couldn’t work, training makes it impossible for me to have a full-time job. However, I couldn’t stand doing nothing at home waiting for training schedules. That is aside from the fact that my bitchy sister kept shouting at me to go find a job. Even if I do, the newly passed nurses would only increase in the next board exams and the competition will only add up. That would make it harder to get into trainings and do volunteer work, and of course, do a real hospital job.